Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
