The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
