I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.