Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk