hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
