i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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