It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Ladies don't puke and tell
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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