I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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