It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
