She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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