why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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