Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
