He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
