Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
