U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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