Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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