you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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