i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize