We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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