Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
