I can tuck mytits in my pants
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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