I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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