Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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