listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
