is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So much Jack, so little girl.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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