glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
there is glitter all over my balls
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
