As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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