A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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