the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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