If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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