You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
