I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
