I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
