ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
