Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
