I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
