marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
