i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
