rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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