my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
