I just saw a hot homeless man
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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