At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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