he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
