omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
