Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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