not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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