But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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