do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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