Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
