I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
