Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
