I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize