How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
