I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
