think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
