I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
