But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
