3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize