Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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