so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
