For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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