so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
