Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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