I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
